Beliefs + Attracting My Perfect Partner

I did a corporate training yesterday and one of the key messages was the importance of self-awareness with regards to our beliefs. I thought it'll be interesting for me to do a self-awareness exercise on my beliefs (both old and current) on my partner.




What are beliefs?

Your beliefs are like the operating system to your brain. They are one of the primary filters that determine what you delete and what you pay attention to. They determine how you perceive and interpret your experiences.

Beliefs act as self fulfilling prophecies. They act as permissions as well as blocks to what we can do. They have to be acted on if they are to mean anything; therefore beliefs are principles of action, not empty ideals.

Beliefs are never absolutely true. For every belief, there is always a counter belief. Non useful beliefs are called limiting beliefs (eg "I am stupid", "I am a failure", "I'm lousy at Maths", "Life is painful/ difficult", "I'll always be a failure", "I suck at relationships")

My Old Beliefs about relationship

It is said that "like attract like". At the same time, it is also true that the beliefs that you have will cause you to react/ respond to a situation in a certain manner or for you to repeat a certain pattern in life or for you to attract certain people to your life.

Before one of my Aha moments, I didn't realise that I used to have a "messianic" mindset where relationships are concerned. That it is ok for us to "suffer" in a relationship if we love that person. That there are no jerks. That I am not deserving of a good man. All of them are limiting beliefs. Result? The men I attracted at that phase of my life had serious personal problems or issues, some were downright jerks, negative and pessimistic characters and even "weird" ones. I had a "suitor" who will call me drunk at 4am in the morning telling me that he has dreamt about me being in distress.

Then, at another phase, I seem to attract two extreme of men. On one end, those who are fun and exciting but looking only for flings and the other end, 'non-chemistry with me' men who are looking for serious commitment. Hmmm... on closer reflection, it is not surprising cos' I held the limiting belief that only boring men will be interested in marrying me. At the same time, I was also wavering between wanting to be a swinging single and being in a serious relationship.

Now?

I believe that I will meet hot men (by this I mean that we will both feel the "spark" between us) who are also interested in a serious relationship and open to the possibility that the relationship may lead to marriage. Among the hot men will be THE ONE who is complementary. Yay!